Thursday, March 24, 2011

Cream of What?

This morning, while attempting to wake up, I had a random thought. I inflicted this random thought upon my dear, long-suffering husband.

"They have cream of chicken and cream of mushroom," I mused.

"Yeaaaah," Husband said, sounding apprehensive already... though, it may have been the sleepiness in his voice.

"What if they had Cream of Ham?"

Ben scrunched his face up, "Ew!"

"What would that even look like?"

We laughed a lot at this and spent the better part of fifteen minutes deciding what would be the most disgusting "Cream of" flavor.

Here is the list as I remember it along with some pictures that I whipped up to reflect my imagination.

Cream of Ham

Cream of Lettuce

Cream of Jicama

Cream of Hot Dog

Cream of Bacon - When I mentioned this idea, Ben actually said, "That sounds kinda good!" at which I said, "Gross!" I guess the jury is out on this idea.

Cream of TVP (Ben's idea!)

Cream of Bean - How do you cream a bean? I suggested to Ben that you'd have to hit it with a car.

Cream of Blood Sausage

Cream of Date (yes, the fruit)

Cream of Tuna - of course, this idea came from one of the family favorites of Creamed Tuna on Biscuits. It tastes better than it looks, thank heaven.

Cream of Sardine (another of Ben's ideas)

Cream of Eggplant - I just couldn't resist a purple soup!

Cream of Tripe - My personal and horrific favorite. If you don't know what tripe is, look it up. It's one of the most disgusting parts of an animal you can eat. I don't care who you are.

The scariest thing about this is that when I went to look up these ideas, most of them were REAL! I almost lost my lunch! Of course, you'll find none of them on a Campbell's can. Some wierd-o's in their homes or in their gourmet chef kitchens have spent far too much of their time adding cream to any number of strange foods and calling it edible.

We also had a special selection of Cream of Wheat replacements. Unfortunately, I am not savvy enough with Photoshop to fiddle with the graphics on a picture of a Cream of Wheat box, so you'll have to use your imagination on this. If your imagination is anything like mine, it will conjure up much more frightening images than Photoshop ever could!

So imagine, if you will, a box of Cream of Wheat. Wait... here you go. You're welcome.
 Now.. conjure in your mind....

Cream of Meat

Cream of Smeat (the generic version of spam)

Cream of Beet

They all have to rhyme you see or it just doesn't make sense.

So, yeah. That's what my brain has been working on today. What about you?


shydandelion said...

Ha ha ha! I think Cream of Hot Dog is the winner! That list almost made me pee my pants! HA HA HA!

And what about Cream of Olives? Or Cream of Sauerkraut? Or maybe Cream of Velvetta? Cream of Steak?

As far as what I am doing, I spent a good chunk of the afternoon doodling. :D

Rebecca said...

i just ate... I thought I was going to create my own cream of something...

Trillium said...

So I guess all of this thinking was the "Cream of Em's Brain" or maybe the "SCREAM of Em's Brain"? heheh


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