Wednesday, November 28, 2012

29 of 30: Misunderstand

If you haven't been following along from the beginning, click here.

What do you think people misunderstand most about you?

I think this is a funny question because I could very easily misunderstand what people misunderstand about me. :)

However, these are my impressions.

I think people are under the impression that they need to protect me from difficulty because I can't handle it. Over the years, I've had people tell me that they didn't want to put me into situations that would be too "hard" for me.

Before I tell you the way that makes me feel, let me tell you why I think they do this.

I think they believe I am a sensitive soul who wears her emotions on her sleeve. This part is very true. I am sensitive and I am an emotional person. But that does not make me weak in any sense of the word. In fact, I think some of the strongest people are often those who are well-connected to their emotions.
I do cry easily. That doesn't make me weak either. It can be embarrassing sometimes, but it's part of who I am and I do my best to control it when necessary. You don't have to have a dry face to be strong.

When I was still working, I was told that I was denied extra responsibilities (that would have been good for my career) because they thought I would get my feelings hurt. I was too sensitive. At the time I was shocked. I was the best in my department in this particular skill and the responsibility was given to someone else because she was "tough."

On the flip side, I've seen others who think they have to be tough, loud or mean in order to be "strong." I think that just makes them look weaker. Confidence isn't loud. Strength isn't aggressive. The attributes that I want to incorporate into myself don't shout or hurt other people's feelings. I believe you can be confident and humble, strong and gentle. True strength emanates from a person and speaks for itself.

Now, let me tell you how it makes me feel.

I think it's insulting. When someone tries to "protect" me from something difficult, they're basically confessing their lack of faith in me. In my mind, they are telling me that not only do they believe I can't do it, but that I'll never be able to do it... ever. If you never give me a chance, how can I become more and better than I am? I am well aware that I certainly have my own way of doing things, but that does not mean I CAN'T do it. I find that I do best when I know those around me have confidence that I am capable. I don't NEED the people around me to cheer me on, but I'll be honest, everyone could use a little cheering on.

I've learned more about how strong and capable I am in the last two months than in the last five years. I've also learned where my weaknesses lie, but that doesn't stop me. I'm a work in progress, just like everyone else.

Let's all just have a little more faith in each other. We can all benefit from that kind of give and take.


1 comment:

Shydandelion said...

Hear hear! :) I think people look at me that way, too. Except I think they look at me like I'm retarded. Ha ha ha! At first the was annoying, but I figure, hey, just go with it. Their opinions don't change who I am, and if they don't think I can handle something, they are merely mistaken, and I'm going to keep doing what I am doing regardless. But, I'm not going to fight it. There's no point. It would only make me look like I'm pouting.

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